Holy Fire
by NefertariHime
Summary: BW Inferno angst fic, of all things. It's, er... Vaguely slashy. Yeah. *Cough* You have been warned!


_An Inferno fic. A BW Inferno frickin' angst fic, no less! It is now official; I can write angst about everything. I could probably write angst about a bag. Hmm... "My life... My life started in the factories, with a thousand others like me. I never stood out; never expected to..." Oh, yeah, I could do it. ;) _

Disclaimer: Neffy not make any money! It belong to Hasbro and T. S. Eliot, stolen by Neffy! Very, very bad... 

Warning: Some lightly slashy parts, but if you sorta squint you can ignore them. Or not. :) 

Fun Fact: I developed a most curious twitch from refering to Megatron in feminine... 

**Holy Fire**

  


_For Thine is the Kingdom_

~~~

_Spider's Game-->_

    _Under the twinkle of a fading star._

I am a soldier: 

I serve without question. I serve without thought. I serve without such idiocy as greed or mercy. 

I am the holy fire that burns the enemies of my Colony: 

O, Colony, so splendid Thy radiance! It seems to glow with such unearthly light. A fallen star, my Colony. 

Should I concentrate, I can vaguely remember other stars, real stars, swirling around me in an unending dance that would confuse, should I care. I do not. They do not matter. Only the Colony matters. 

And so radiant it is, my Colony! My star! My guiding light! The spiders, voices dreamlike and distant like rain and thunder, they plot to plunder my Colony, but I know... I'm on to them. The enemies of the Colony shan't invade whilst Inferno is on duty! No, Great Mother, they shall not! 

But there are other invaders, more resilient than these arachnids! Lo, an Enemy comes from the sky. Burn, then! I will protect my Colony with each ounce of my worthless life... 

~~~

_Call of the Wild-->_

    _Sunlight on a broken column_

I have found a Queen, O, Mother! My old Colony had been lost - Alas, my radient colony that I foolishly and blasphemously had left unguarded - but now I know my home. 

My Queen, my Queen, such radiance that I before had attributed to the fading lustre of my doomed Colony is everything but fading in this bright star. She shines with the light of a thousand suns, the Royalty does, and I bow in awe. 

She was a kind ruler from the moment She spotted me, her wayward slave, and in Her perfect understanding showed me where to find the Maximal - the _Enemy!_ - that destroyed my lost, my desolate Colony. It was useless, yes, but I needed my revenge. And my Queen, O, my radiant Queen led me to it. 

She is brilliant, Mother, in everything. Her eyes sparkle with planning, even now, as She tiredly heads towards Her daily Energon bath to relax, giving me my last orders for the day. And I follow, if only to see that sparkle! And Her voice! Mother, Her voice! It is filled with such wisdom, such knowledge...! 

O, how radiant, how brilliant, how grand is my Queen! I follow Her, and I will be Her holy fire! 

~~~

_Before the Storm-->_

    _Eyes I dare not meet in dreams_

You must understand, it's not mindless devotion. 

If it were, I would not be so thoughroughly despicable. I wish that it were mindless, you see, for then I would be a good soldier. But my heart betrays me, and I covert a place by Her side, as Her trusted right hand, the first person She turns to when in need. Not-- Not that accursed scorpion... 

As I said, it is by no means mindless devotion. Mindless devotion is what She deserves, though. Looking upon Her is seeing... Perfection. My Queen, my exalted ruler, how could She be anything else? And yet my comrades, my fellow drones, these... low, treacherous, ungrateful beings, they mock Her! They want more, they say, more. She lets them bathe in Her light; is this not enough?! 

O, I weep at the thought, for treacherous and foolish though they may be, I am a thousand fold worse. The radiant Royalty sees their ambition, She knows their minds and _She does not trust them._

But me She trusts. Oh, yes, me, and that is worth a hundred, nay, a _million_ barbs of their mockery. She trusts me! Me! Yes, me... with my disgusting, self-serving, ambitious desires... I'm betraying Her trust, and She does not know this. I want Her to know, like a good soldier should, yet my cold, hideous ambition gets in the way. How could She ever trust me again if She knew? 

O, I am a despicable being... 

Some part of me hopes that this disc, this golden disc I found, so similar that it is to Her beloved treasure, will somehow restore some of my honour in my own, twisted eyes. But even now, my heart jumps at the thought of Her joy when I present Her with my find. 

The pain of the Energon playing over my body means nothing; I welcome it, not reject it. I merely wish it burns the perversities out of my mind in time for me to step before Her radiance. 

Somehow I doubt it. 

~~~

_Aftermath-->_

    _Let me be no nearer_

My Queen saved me today. That She would forfeit victory for my sake, I am shamed to my core! The Colony comes first, the Queen is the priority, yet She grabbed me and called a retreat, for I was hurt. The loss, I think, of the scorpion hit harder than She will allow Herself to show. We needed this victory, shattered and tired as we are, yet She-- She came to my aide instead. I'm hideous! I'm shamed! 

No... No, I _should_ be shamed, but once again my ambition, cruel and twisted, interferes. It is a good thing, it whispers, that She cares so much for you. It is a good thing, it insists, that the thrice damned scorpion is dead and gone. Now I will have my place at Her side, with no dim-witted arachnid to get in the way. 

And I give in to the ambition! O, my face shows remorse and sympathy for my Queen in Her valiant grief, but on the inside I rejoice. I cry in delight, now, now only I will be there. She will praise me as no one else, and She will know I am Her most loyal soldier. O, yes, only I, only I... 

Royalty, Royalty, if You knew! A mere word of praise send me exalting. A smile of approval is pure euphoria. Or the sound of Your voice as You laugh in delight, it makes me want to fall to my knees and worship You even more. If You knew, my Queen, You would hate me, and You would never smile to me or compliment me or laugh in my presence again! 

Mother! A fate so harsh I can hardly bare to contemplate it, yet I must, for it works two-fold. I must know what She'd do, and I must punish myself. Burn myself clean of my impurities. O, but my flame is as dirtied as me, and it leaves more room to be touched by Her holy fire, which by rights should purge, but is twisted and perverted by my evil self. 

Such a horrible creature I am... 

~~~

_Maximal No More-->_

    _Behaving as the wind behaves_

How I hate that traitor. 

How I hate that he abandoned my Queen, O, glorious Queen for his own selfish purposes. 

How I hate that he so often have tried to kill Her, to steal Her away, yet just now came crawling like a beaten dog. 

How I hate that, even in his humiliation, he mocked Her and taunted Her, as though he by rights should not be blinded by Her perfection. 

And most of all, how I hate that She loathes him, yet looked at him with such obvious respect, even as he knelt like a slave before her. 

Now he's betrayed us again, leaving the Colony for the accursed Enemy. Alas, She is furious, and I wish to comfort Her, to swear to Her that I shall forever be at Her side. 

But I'm afraid of what else I might say. 

O, my Queen, my Light, my Strength! I'd give everything to see him dead at Your feet, if it meant a single smile for me! 

I'll never fail You, I swear; I shall never leave Your side, even as Your holy fire burns me... 

Even as I pervert Your beauty. 

~~~

_Other Visits-->_

    _Waking alone_

The Disk! The Disk I found for my Queen, She uses it! The Enemy from the stars is coming, and She has enlisted the treacherous spider's aid. She wanted him dead, I know, but when he dies it shall be a place and time of Her choosing. I was presumptious enough to threaten him the minute I saw him. Forgive me, O, my Queen, forgive me... 

She does not trust the spider, as well She shouldn't. But She knows him, understands him better than he could begin to suspect, the traitor. Ah, yes, he'll die, and when his carcass lies lifeless I shall burn him to ashes; dirty and perverted though I may be, I am still Her holy fire. 

But the other spider... 

Why does She treat the Widow in such a manner? Why?! The female has been just as treacherous as her mate, yet She favours her and confides in her... 

_Why her?!_

I watch them, talking and whispering amongst themselves, throwing the other spider dark looks. I hope feverntly that it is hate that has bound them together, not a common mind. 

If She has found someone else to trust in, to scheme with, what of me? Shall I be sent away? Alas, I could not live if parted from my glorious, terrifying Queen... 

I will watch and I will wait and I will stay at Her side faithfully, that She will not forget me and pass me away to oblivion. 

Nay, my Queen. I shall prove myself far worthier to guard You than any traitor, spider or scorpion has ever managed. 

Sullied or no, my fire still burns for You alone. 

~~~

_Bad Spark-->_

    _We whisper together_

Never trust a spider! 

O, Mother, that I feared for my place due to the Widow; I must laugh! She hungers for the Enemy fuzor, the treacherous arachnid, and my Queen, O, dazzling star She is has seen the spider for what she is, and now only keeps her for the knowledge she holds! 

I know not the nature of it, only that the Royalty needs it for Her greatest battle yet; a battle that frightens even Her. 

I wish, I wish as many times before, that I knew Her plots and could comfort and nuture Her confidence in them, but She keeps silent, even to me. 

Ah, yes; I am once again Her closest guard. Her light blinds me once more, and I greet it, welcome it. O, my Queen... 

My beautiful, terrifying, awesome Queen who has enslaved a dark monster to Her service. Truly, She shines! 

My own darkness still writhes like a snake in captivity, wanting out. But I quell it. There are times where I almost can't, when I almost say things I surely would regret, but I force them back. I have to - to keep You safe, my Queen, my Light, my Strength and my Weakness... 

~~~

_Code of Hero-->_

    _The supplication of a dead man's hand_

He has fallen, why does She mourn? Alas, the respect between warriors is a strange bond. Still, that my Queen so quietly, so silently laments the passing of the traitor... 

It proves all the more that She is perfect and divine, forgiving and ferocious all at once. 

My Queen, O, splendid one! Though Your plan has failed, all ready You plot for other goals; I see it in Your optics, pink and magenta and filled with power! Ask of me what You will, ask the moon, the sun, one of the stars - nay, _all_ of the stars and I shall lay them at Your feet. 

You would rule all the worlds as they were meant to be, I know this. And it is what You rightfully want. But oh, the fools that are blind to this! The spiders, the immortal one, they see not Your glory. I would make them see. Fire would open their eyes. 

Alas, You hold me back. You are wise, and I've no place to question Your actions. But still, I am tainted! Still I want to speak up against You, to convince You that it would be dangerous! 

But a lowly drone, least of all pitiful me, cannot and must not disagree with the Queen. 

All You ask of me, I will give You. 

All You order of me, I will do. 

If You wished my death for entertainment, I would scream loudly, just to keep You pleased. 

My Queen, my Glory, my Reason - come Unicron or the Void, I shall lay the universe and myself before You. 

~~~

_The Agenda-->_

    _Shape without form, shade without colour_

If I should die for You, I wish that it be in flame. 

If I should kill for You, I wish that it be by flame. 

If I should live for You, I wish that it be with flame. 

Distortions, screams and pain, a cacaphonia of fire. 

Loss of essence, of self, of all that holds me. 

Stillness in the burning darkness. 

There is no insignificance now. 

Only You. 

~~~

_Optimal Situation-->_

    _More distant and more solemn_

I hear the voices as if from afar. They whisper of fire, of the painful beauty held in the pure, roaring blaze. O, Mother, what a sigh would the world be ablaze! 

The voices, they've been there, in the back of my mind, ever since fire played over my body, nearly disintigrating it, when I carried out my Queen, my Queen, my Queen's orders. 

My Queen... 

O, the voices whisper. O, how beautiful She would be, should you burn Her now. But I keep them back. She would be the very soul of perfection if I lit Her on fire, but it would hurt Her. I will never hurt Her. 

I stand by Her side, the voices whispering dimly in the back of my mind, humming, chanting a dirge. I stand by Her side, and the light of the lava around us almost sets Her aflame in my mind's eye. I stand by Her side, and Her voice is the only voice I hear clearly. 

A wind, a wind of silence rustles past, with more whispers only I can hear. My Queen, how precious You'd be with rubies and burning ambers around You. 

But You'd scream; you'd suffer - and thus, I cannot let lose Your holy fire. 

Whispers, murmurs, indistinct voices of the Enemy. I want to laugh; I want to scream; I want to sing along with the dirge, the strange dirge, that's not a dirge at all. 

_Here we go 'round the prickly pear   
Prickly pear prickly pear   
Here we go 'round the prickly pear   
At five o'clock in the morning._

Hush, little voices - silence your silly, silly funeral march. Go to sleep now, as I follow my Queen. Silence your whispers that She may be safe. 

_Here we go 'round the prickly pear..._

~~~

_Master Blaster-->_

    _In death's dream kingdom_

A dragon... She fell into fire and She was born from it a dragon, with power pouring from Her, pulsing out like a light. O, my Queen... I look at you now, ruler of fire, and I gloat at the voices whose whispering has become shouting, screaming, hollering. 

I want to tell You, my Queen, that they almost succeeded... I want to tell You how I, one night, stood by Your throne as You slept, my flamethrower poised and ready, one tiny spark ready to become an inferno of splendour. I would've set You on fire then, Royalty, had I not come to earlier. 

I wish to tell You this, but... I cannot. Still I am twisted and perverted, and still the voices urge me. 

And the times, in battle, where I almost turned my weapon at Your back. That I cannot tell You either. Maybe once, when I am purged I can tell You, but till then it is a secret I must keep; one of far too many. 

I feel as if I reside in some hellish nightmare, a dream without end, with only the fire to light my way to You. Are You the same way, my Queen, now that You carry with you the soul of a dead man? 

You torture me. The voices, the fire, my Queen, you all torture me. What am I to do? 

~~~

_Nemesis-->_

    _In the twilight kingdom_

I float in limbo. 

That you would fire on me, my ruler of fire, my queen of existance. 

I hate you, i love you, i shall not forgive you, yet have done so all ready. 

Sing the dirge with me, voices on the wind, and dance your dance macabre as the chanting sets the world ablaze. 

If you were here i would kill you without a second thought, make no mistake. 

Or perhaps... ah, yes. 

I made the mistake, forgive me. 

Of course i shall not kill you, my queen, my death, my beloved. 

I could never... never hurt you. 

A tiny pawn dances, dances, dances across your chessboard to the strange, strange dirge that's not a dirge at all. 

Burn me as you always did, and kill me slowly as you did from the moment i saw you. 

After all, my life was always yours to take. 

_This is the way the world ends   
This is the way the world ends   
This is the way the world ends   
Not with a bang but a whimper._


End file.
